Getting a call from a debt collector can feel like a punch to the gut. Even if you expected it, dealing with debt collectors is still stressful, and sometimes, downright scary. But take a deep breath. You have more power than you think.

I’ve been there. Several years ago, I hit a rough patch and simply couldn’t keep up. I hadn’t stopped paying bills because I didn’t care. I stopped because I needed to survive. Rent and groceries took priority.

I always planned to start paying again once I got back on my feet. But by the time I did, the late fees and penalties had stacked up, and I couldn’t afford to catch up. Two accounts ended up in collections, not because I was irresponsible, but because I was out of money and out of options.

If any of that sounds familiar, this post is for you. You’re not alone, and you’re not out of luck. This guide walks through how to handle debt collectors, what your rights under the FDCPA are, and what to do when the calls start coming in.

Information in this article is fact-checked and accurate at the time of publishing. It may be subject to change.

First, Know This: You Have Rights When Dealing with Debt Collectors

Debt collectors are required by law to follow the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA), which is a federal law that protects you from harassment, deception, and abuse.

Under the FDCPA:

• Collectors can’t call before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m.
• They can’t call you at work if you tell them not to.
• They can’t threaten you, insult you, or misrepresent who they are.
• They must identify themselves and the company they represent.
• You have the right to request written validation of the debt.

If a collection agency contacts you, don’t assume everything they say is accurate. However, as the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) warns, ignoring the situation won’t make it go away.

Pause Before Responding

When you’re contacted by a debt collector, especially for the first time, it’s easy to react out of emotion. But one of the best things you can do is pause. Don’t commit to anything until you understand what’s going on.

What to do when contacted by a debt collector:

• Request that the debt be validated in writing (this is your legal right).
• Never confirm personal details or offer payment until you’ve received validation.
• Take notes on the date, time, and nature of the call.
• Keep everything in writing from that point on, if possible.

Collectors may contact you about unsecured debt (like credit cards or medical bills) or secured debt (like a car loan or mortgage that’s backed by collateral). Most debt collection calls focus on unsecured debt, but it’s helpful to understand the difference.

Secured vs. Unsecured Debt Collection

Here are some quick notes about the differences and how they’re handled:

• Unsecured debt (credit cards, medical bills, etc.) is not tied to any physical item. If you fall behind, the creditor can’t immediately take anything from you, but they can send the debt to collections or sue for repayment.
• Secured debt (car loans, mortgages) is backed by something of value. If you stop paying, the lender can repossess the item. If the sale of that item doesn’t cover the full balance, the remaining debt can still go to collections.

Bottom line: If you’re dealing with a debt collector, you’re probably working with unsecured debt or the leftover balance from a secured debt. The handling process is very similar, and your rights under the FDCPA still apply.

How to Request a Debt Validation Letter

Within five days of first contact, a collector must send you a written notice explaining:

• The amount you owe
• The name of the original creditor
• Your right to dispute the debt

If you’re unsure whether the debt is accurate or if the amount seems off, you can send a debt validation letter. This request must be made within 30 days of receiving the written notice.

You don’t need to be a lawyer to write one. Just ask them to verify the debt, provide details of the original creditor, and prove their legal right to collect. You can even use the templates provided by the CFPB on its website.

Don’t Accidentally Restart the Clock When Dealing with Debt Collectors

If the debt is older, be careful. In some states, acknowledging the debt or making even a small payment may restart the statute of limitations, making it collectible again when it was close to expiring. Request validation before taking any action.

4 Best Practices for Dealing with Debt Collectors

Do:

1. Stay calm and polite
2. Ask for all communication in writing
3. Track each call, letter, and message
4. Use certified mail if you send any formal letters

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Don’t:

• Give away personal info or employment details
• Agree to anything on the spot
• Make a “good faith” payment without understanding the consequences
• Assume every collector is accurate, as some aren’t

If You’re Already in Over Your Head

If your budget is stretched past its limits, you’re not alone. Collections are often a symptom of a bigger issue: rising living costs, unpredictable income, or a broken budget system.

You may find it helpful to check out some related reads on Matt’s Dad Says… like:

• Budgeting when money is tight
• Why your budget isn’t working
• How to get out of debt

Even small steps forward count. Even reading this article counts.

When to Get Outside Help

You don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you feel stuck, consider:

• Speaking with a nonprofit credit counseling agency
• Contacting a consumer protection lawyer if your rights were violated
• Filing a formal complaint with the CFPB if you’re being harassed
  Submit a complaint through the CFPB here

Final Thoughts from Matt’s Dad

It’s tough enough trying to catch up on bills without someone calling to remind you what you already know. But you’re not powerless. You have legal rights, and you have the ability to take the next step forward at your own pace and with a plan that works for you.

Whether you’re dealing with one collector or five, just remember: the calls don’t define you. Your response does. And with a little knowledge and a steady approach, you can move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling back in control.